<![CDATA[ - RB Blog]]>Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:18:34 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[What Not To Wear]]>Mon, 27 Aug 2012 11:39:58 -0800http://www.rubenesqueburlesque.com/1/post/2012/08/what-not-to-wear.htmlWhat Not To Wear
By Kitty Von Quim
If someone tells you that they're absolutely in love with their body a hundred percent of the time, they are more than likely lying. My relationship with my physique in 2012, after nearly five years of dancing with Rubenesque Burlesque, is so far away from what it was before I joined the troupe.

Somewhere in my early teens I continued my family's legacy of being a fat kid. I strived to be an unexplained gainer of weight, and never ate publicly, while I scarfed down two or three meals worth of food after school. As instructed by my family, I always cleaned my plate of any of their delicious Cajun home-cooking. I was never encouraged to be active: recently I heard my mother didn't sign me up for dance class because she thought I would become a whore. By the time I could take my own action, someone had already told me I was fat. No one wanted to see me dance. No one wanted to see me run, jump, skip, do cartwheels.

Post-college, I moved from Louisiana to California. When I walked through the streets of San Francisco, I could see nothing but slim, fit people. There was no easy access to plus size clothing! Wouldn't life be easier not being fat? I started working with a trainer to lose weight, and I did lose a little bit. My mother and my grandmother saw me and exclaimed how much prettier I was when I wasn't hiding behind all of my chub. I made plans for all of things I would do and wear when I was thin! So when the weight returned – I inevitably lapsed my gym membership – I knew that I was getting uglier and uglier.

Now, I never was mopey about my weight, or talked down about my body. In regards to my fat I maintained a Southern attitude: we didn't talk about it. My struggles with my body were only confronted in dressing rooms as I went the next size up in pants. My wardrobe was solidly the color black, no horizontal stripes, and no jeans were skinny (because, duh, I wasn't).

I met Rubenesque Burlesque after they had performed. I was bold enough to tell them how fabulous they were and Juicy D. Light told me that I should come and play. Suddenly that was my permission to do everything I had always wanted to do, and thought no one wanted to see. One person opened the door for me, and I walked through it. One person wanting to see me perform meant I could dance as much as I wanted. I could wear all of the fabulous clothes and colors and horizontal stripes I wanted! I could strip as much as I wanted!

That one person led to audiences of people screaming for me as I took off each article of clothing: with each one, they wanted more, and I definitely have more to show. This permission nurtured the love I had buried all along, and now I'm happy to dance for myself and share it with others. Time moves too fast to wait until you're perfect: for now, have fun inside the body you have.
Kitty Von Quim having unadulterated wicked awesome fun inside the body she has
<![CDATA[Fat, Fine and Fabulous]]>Wed, 15 Aug 2012 11:26:18 -0800http://www.rubenesqueburlesque.com/1/post/2012/08/fat-fine-and-fabulous.htmlFat, Fine and Fabulous
By Ms. Frida B.

For years I have been struggling with my body and its gain in weight. When I was growing up I was the skinny awkward kid with big feet. I didn’t weigh 100 pounds until I was 19. I could eat anything I wanted and often did. I hated my body then. I felt too skinny, though I have always had a large ass – thank you, Jesus!

At 19 I had a life-changing event happen that caused me to gain weight I was never able to lose. I also had a boyfriend who liked to point out when I was gaining weight. He often stated how he didn’t like big chicks. He wasn’t cruel, just not understanding. I went from 100 pounds to 130 over two or three years. While that doesn't seem bad, for me it was traumatic

Anytime I thought I was looking sexy, someone somewhere would remind me how small I used to be. Or they would comment on how I had gained weight. I was back to being at a low point. I had to deal with this life-changing experience and people commenting on my weight gain.

Now let me step back a bit and explain that the women in my family are not small women. I always thought my grandmother, my mother, and sister were beautiful women. I wanted to look like them, so curvy and sexy. I wanted to be dark like my grandmother. I never knew there was anything wrong with being big. I didn’t experience the prejudice that they had. I was always made fun of for being skinny.

So when I gained weight and people started in on that, my self esteem dropped. I made up for it by making fun of myself for everything I found at fault. I covered up and didn’t even try to be sexy. I handled my depression and low self esteem by sleeping around and finding ways to abuse myself.

But I found that I was doing myself worse than those around me. I came to the epiphany that if I find big women to be sexy then why am I beating myself up for my changes? And who the hell are these people for judging me? I also came to the realization that as strong-willed and pro-woman as I am, how can I preach it and not live it? The biggest thing to happen to me in realizing that I am beautiful the way I am came when I was introduced to my burly sisters of Rubenesque Burlesque. Honestly, I was shocked and didn’t know what to think when invited to be a part of a big girl troupe. When I got there and started to dance and first stripped off my clothes and was so warmly embraced, I knew it was right and that I was home.

I currently weigh 175. I went up to 200 pounds, but was pregnant at the time. I know that is not that big. But in the world of supermodels, Hollywood and the health charts, at 5’3” I am overweight, obese even. I have had my ups and downs and have finally found a place where I am proud of my body.

I am sexy and flabby and have so much to hold onto and love. I am healthy and in love. I appreciate all that I am and cannot deal with those who chose to degrade me because I am not a size 2. I also cannot deal with those who snub me because I am not a 3x. I am an in between and I am proud of it. My ass is large and round and jiggles when I move. That shit was sexy before J. Lo. My belly is round and flabby and jiggles when I move. That shit is sexy as fuck and gives my man something to hold onto when he squeezes me from behind. My hips give his hands a home as he pulls me to him. My arms are comfort to my baby boy.

I am fat, fine, and fabulous. Thank you, sisters for helping me realize that.

Ms. Frida B.
<![CDATA[People We Love:  Laci Green]]>Mon, 25 Jun 2012 14:20:53 -0800http://www.rubenesqueburlesque.com/1/post/2012/06/people-we-love-laci-green.htmlPeople We Love: Laci Green
Miss Magnoliah Black
By Miss Magnoliah Black

I've been following this woman's wonderful antics and insights for a while.  She recently did a vlog that rocked my world.  I totally approve this fat friendly message.


<![CDATA[My BurlyCon Experience]]>Mon, 09 Jan 2012 16:32:27 -0800http://www.rubenesqueburlesque.com/1/post/2012/01/my-burlycon-experince.htmlMy BurlyCon Experience
By Miss Magnoliah Black

Alright I’m totally writing this all kinds of late but BurlyCon was amaaaaaaaaaaazing.

Before we got there I was 75% body conscious with a  high chance of freaking the fuck out since our fearless troupe leader Juicy D. Light signed us up for peer reviews.  Now let me make is completely clear: Peer Reviews are not about competition against other performers.  It is about putting yourself out there and finding out how you can grow, what works and what doesn’t.

In a perfect non-ego driven world I would have been calm about the whole thing … but I wasn’t in this magical world. I have ego in tons, loads of it in fact and while I did not see myself as competing against anyone else I wanted to bring my best to the table.

I wanted to be perfect because I love these women so much.  This love was conveyed in the most conventional means.

By conventional I mean completely spazing out.

_Kitty Von Quim had a peer review solo the night before and Juicy had a peer review right before the troupe’s (Which they fucking rocked by the way).  I wanted to be supportive so I had to put my freak out on hold. 

This may look like a good thing but in all reality… well my reality it meant that I had about 10 minutes to squeeze in 2 days worth of angst and cray crayness that  this sort of  incredible opportunity deserved.   Luckily all this got cut short when I stabbed my finger trying to stow away a particularly sharp knife I’d used to slice up a watermelon for Juicy’s Mammy number.  Instead of being worried about my snap panties not staying up for the first half or almost worse: getting stuck between my thighs during the quick rip off removal; which normally results in me ripping said panties off completely and possibly the thong underneath (yes it’s happened before), I had to concentrate on staunching a rather substantial blood so the front row wouldn’t look like an episode of Dexter....mmm Dexter.

Anyway, stars aligned and magic happened.

I stopped bleeding.
I stopped bleeding and suddenly slipped into surreality.

That 2 minutes and 45 seconds felt like 2 hours but in a really stellar way  because we all know just how fucking awesome slow mo really is.   Seriously a bitch was in bullet time.  By the end of it I was down to my shoes, fishnets, one thong(fuck yah), two glittery Punisher styled pasties(double fuck yah) and  utterly spent.  It was truly epic.  We were epic.  They stood on their feet, yelled, roared and they applauded us.


And not “some sympathy for fat girls doing their thing” applause but a true and honest OMG you rawked my face and melted it off with your awesomeness applause.  It was not just from our peers but from people who we look up to and respect in the burlesque community.  It’s a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.  As I sat there catching my breath and swinging my feet  I thought it could not get any better than this.

But then it did get better.

My focus when I arrived at burlycon was the peer reviews.  Getting myself and my sisters through them but once that was out of the way I had the time to really appreciate what Miss Indigo Blue had done for the burlesque community. I learned alot of tips for costume and choreography but I expected too.  What I didn’t expect and was totally not prepared for were the other classes.

In WorldFamous Bob’s class I accepted the fact that my life had changed, that I have over the past three year recreated myself.  I am not a quitter for letting go of things I held on to in the past.  Changing within and without is a beautiful thing to be embraced ridden hard and put away wet and heaving.

In Ginger Snapz class I learned how I as a black woman have just a rich and deep burlesque history as my white sisters.  I have history and a legacy to upkeep and honor! I am prepared to  work towards equality in the scene.

The next time I saw Ginger she was leading a roundtable with fabulous Cherry Tart voicing what we plus sized performers go through and how we can work together to get ourselves out there more.  What we can do to alert the burlesque community to the fact that while the performers are all for body love and being inclusive the producers are more often not.

There is a true need for us to produce our own shows and support communities.  Our discussion prompted Nipsy Tussle  to create 3b Burlesque a webspace for plus sized burlesquers.

Then came a class with the magnificent Legs Malone.

Okay first let me say that this woman is… she’s…. jeazuz just look at the picture while I collect my thoughts.

Seriously?! I know you wanna go check out her site. Just click on the picture...I'll wait.
The first time I met Legs Malone was in New York about two years ago... it also happens to be another story for another time.... You're still looking at that picture arent you?

Pay attention!

Anyways she started her class by handing out boxes of tissues. Which I promptly passed on because I’m not much of a crier unless someone is dead or I’m insanely happy.  By the end of her class I almost needed those tissues.  Through her series of questions I found that I still have a ton of body issues.  From my mother I learned that fat people don’t deserve to be happy, or have relationships of the life they desired.  From my father I learned that I was invisible.  Society has taught me to explain away and be ashamed.  Deep inside a part of me still believed they were all right.  We ended the class with affirmations and a song.  I expected  some Enya type business since we totally went all within but no how about “Try a Little Tenderness”.  My own joy got mixed up with Kitty’s who loves the freak out of that song and has a ridiculously cute routine to it. Later that day it was Kitty who took the time to stop me and to care for me.  She noticed that I had not allowed myself to let go in Legs’s class.  She in her own casual way tipped the scales and allowed all those emotions to come out and it was good.

It was really good.

I also got to hang out with Lowa DeBoomboom who is just spectacular and beautiful.  I wanted to take her home with us.
we make neon look good
It was a life changing weekend. I’m so glad that I went.

Beneath the glitter, the rhinestones and the feathers are real people.  They are artists and mothers, fathers and teachers, corporate cogs and pencil pushers, classically trained to  beginner all with a uniting fierceness. 

The ability to stand upon the stage naked before strangers and friends and manage to be completely clothed in starshine, covered in creativity and dressed in a delicious mind-blowing self acceptance and freedom which beckons everyone else to find it within themselves.

I am so proud and so deeply honored to be a part of that.

Also spending three nights cuddled up to Lucia N. Habitions and her boobs was pretty spectacular... just sayin.

<![CDATA[#@#$%*$&@&#*$*@*@$!!!!!1!!!]]>Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:24:26 -0800http://www.rubenesqueburlesque.com/1/post/2011/09/1.html#@#$%$&@&#*$*@*@$!!!!!1!!!
By Miss Magnoliah Black

Normally I paint a scene and give everyone a bit of background information but I feel that this incident of jackassery needs no such introduction

For suggesting that I lack the ability to do my job because I am fat.
Fuck you!!
Fuck you!!
Fuck You!!!!!!
I wish I had paid more attention in latin and biology class so that I could appropriately place you into the correct order, family, species, and genus of Ed Hardy Brotard you were obviously born into.

You know two years ago I would have cried. I would have been embarrassed. I would have not eaten for a week and then crawled inside a couple of cartons of Häagen-Dazs but now

Now I refuse to let some sizest shit head send me spiraling into a binge and purger.
Yeah I'm fat
and I'm also a damn skippy therapist
My size has nothing to do with my precision or skill you (insert all sorts of hyphenated f-bomb references to the vilest creatures imaginable) My deep tissue is a beast and my therapeutic precision capabilities have been trained tested and proven. So lets call a spade a spade. It wasn't about the massage was it? It's because as Juicy put it "I didn't make your dick hard". If you wanted a massage you can jack off to you should have peeped the fucking metro jackass.

We are professionals... we go to school for this and judging our work based on size, sex or sexual-orientation makes you kinda suck

like a hoover.
<![CDATA[Things We Love #1: Revlon Precision Lash Adhesive]]>Wed, 07 Sep 2011 17:41:58 -0800http://www.rubenesqueburlesque.com/1/post/2011/09/things-we-love-1-revlon-precision-lash-adhesive.htmlThings We Love #1: Revlon Precision Lash Adhesive
by Lucia N. Habitions

Anyone who has ever fought with faux eyelashes will appreciate this fabulous find. Revlon Precision Lash Adhesive makes the chore of setting lashes much easier to accomplish. What makes this glue a winner is that the cap has a built-in wand with brush at the tip, which makes it easier to apply a thin strip to the lashes, meaning less mess and a thinner line of glue. Also, the glue turns cobalt when ready for application, but dries clear. And at around $5 at your local drugstore, it's easy on the pocket, too! You can read more about it here:

<![CDATA[Fat on Phat Violence... a rant]]>Sat, 27 Aug 2011 01:20:52 -0800http://www.rubenesqueburlesque.com/1/post/2011/08/fat-on-phat-violence-by-magnoliah-black.htmlFat on Phat Violence....a rant
By Miss Magnoliah Black

Disclaimer: the following post contains multiple, continuous and flagrantly shameless usage of the words: fuck, bitch, and FAT If any of these words offend you or if you're one of my former English teachers please navigate away from this page now

Dear Ungrateful Fat Bitches,
nobody put's baby in a corner

I expected hate from the "mainstream" but from you. You're breaking my god damn heart. I knew when I started doing burlesque that I would have an uphill battle to fight but I can't believe you are trying to drag my ass down too. Oh you are flag waving for equality, bitching about how people treat you differently, crying about all that bullshit you went though in grade school but when it comes down to it sometimes you are just as much part of the problem.

Lets start with the thing that pisses me off the most. More than the fuck-me-never frumpy grey clothes you wear, the constant newest fad diets you go on, or the enabling support groups where you get together and cry. Lets start with this: The whole, utter and complete dismissal of yourself as a sexually potent human being...

I keep getting these response from other big women:
#1 We are about celebrating our curves not sexualizing them
#2What you are doing is perpetuating a harmful fetishism
#3 We deserve to be loved not put on embarrassing display

Ummmm... you lost me sweetness what better celebration of your curves, then covering it with glitter and dancing the night away.

The idea that my particular thunda thighs are floating her boat or rockin his cock doesn't break my flow sugah. It's not like I have to stand there and watch them do it to it. I'll pose for a picture for private use...and if they want panties that costs extra (you freaks know how to reach me ;) ) . Besides like someone pointed out to me the other day skinny women don't get pissed off that people find them attractive just because they are skinny. Or do ya'll?

I really wished you believed that... because if you did then you would not fall prey to being what Kathryn calls the "grateful fat chick". I am not a grateful fat chick but I used to be. I was that fat girl that would be oh so happpy that someone was checking her out, asking her out, or calling her pretty. I was that fat girl that was content to let him touch her in private even if he didn't hold her hand in public. I was that fat girl that was starving for his compliments and hungrily eating all the bullshit he spit out. I am no longer a grateful fat chick... now I'm a phat bitch. There is definitely a decided difference betwixt the both

And because I am a phat bitch and a phenomenal phat bitch at that I'm out there shaking my wide ass and jiggling my tits not just to appease my behemoth sized ego but to liberate your fat asses, reeducate the masses and fuck with the heads of fat-o-phobs. I'm fighting to be free in mind and expression. So yeah... I'm taking my clothes off but if you look past that you'll see that I have the ovaries and intestinal fortitude to live my dream at my present size in my present body unapologetically and that is something that extends beyond the stage.

That is something that extends beyond the stage.

That's the real reason you fat bitches hate on me. I am shoving in your face what you want to run from most,what you cover up with girdles and cinch in with control top panties. Because you have not let go of your shame, and self loathing. Because someone beat you down so hard you are trying to beat me down too.

But I don't want to beat you down,
I don't want to embarrass you.
I want you to really see, to really accept how fabulous you are, how deserving you are and how damn pretty you are.

And don't give me that it's so easy for you bullshit either. I went though it too, from sneak eating to starving, from depression so deep that I could not step outside... I'd binge and purge on self hate with side orders of hot steamy shame. I may not always be fat.. you may one day be skinny but we are ALWAYS human beings. And as human beings we have basics needs that are spiritual, emotional, mental, physical and baby that sure as hell includes sexual.

Because I believe fat bitches need love too
Because I believe that this fat bitch needs love too I refuse to let your fear, past rejections and negative reflections suppress my sexuality, my sensuality, my personality .

Nobody puts baby in the corner!!
Besides there is too much of me to even fuck around with pretending at being invisible.
All 5'6 279 pounds of me demands to be respected to be loved, to be touched, to be sexualized and fetish-ized and glamorized and seen for the powerful beautiful woman that I am.

so do me a favor
cut a bitch a break
and stop weighing me down with all your misplaced hate.

oh and Dr Phil... BITE ME!!!